Homecoming
by AceOfSpades22
Summary: Iain decides, after years of avoiding home and family gatherings, that he'd go to this year's. Of course, he doesn't decide to mention to anyone, not even Arthur, the one brother he is in good standing with, that he is bringing Lars with him. Dealing with his mother and Angus, what happens when taunting and hostile banter reminds Iain of things in the past?


**Hallo guys! So... A little warning with this one, Iain's language... It's gets pretty bad later in the story. Also a quick note s to who some of the characters are:**

**Iain: Scotland**

**Lars: The Netherlands**

**Lillian: Britannia**

**Angus: North Ireland**

**Liam: South Ireland**

**William: Wales**

**One more warning: There are references to abuse, substance abuse and very brief violence. **

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"Darlin' dinnae look so nervous. They're all little shits." Iain assured as he walked up to the cracked door of his mother's house. He knew Lars was antsy being around people in general, but these people were his brothers... the man had every right to be a bit apprehensive about moving inside. Had he maybe told everyone he was bringing someone home for them to meet, maybe Lars wouldn't be worrying as much, but the Scotsman hadn't bothered, not having the courtesy enough seeing as he detested every single person inside that house except for maybe Iggy. But then... Iggy had been too little to help much with anything when his da had died. Shaking the thoughts of his childhood, of his da, off, he glanced over at his Dutchman with a small smirk. "Ah won't be upset if ye decide to beat any of them." He suggested, pushing open the door to the sound of an argument already taking place.

"Ah say he don't even show up. The fecking shit hasn't bothered te show up fer years now. Why this year?" Came a voice that sounded similar to Iain's, though the accent was softer, less blurred, and the voice was deeper, gruffer.

"Angus. Enough. I'm sure Iain will come this year because he told me he is coming." Defended the all too familiar voice of Arthur. That the little blonde was standing up for his older brother when all too often they broke into a disagreement, pulled Lars' lips up into the faintest ghost of a smile as they moved down the hall and into the kitchen where four people sat. "See? There he is now." Arthur stated triumphantly, looking rather smug as one of the men, a nasty looking man with orange hair, a spray of freckles and irritated hazel eyes, crossed his arms over his chest and glared indignantly at Iain.

"Finally decide yeh actually wanted te show up thi- Holy sheit. Would yeh look ah that... Ma brother. The family homo-fecking-sexual. Dinnt see that one coming. We all expected that one te be li'le Iggy over there. Yeh know, that explains so fecking much abou' yeh, Iain. Ah finally understand why ah hate ye guts so much." The man spat vehemently, a dangerous smirk on his face that quickly turned to a look of irritation as a small strawberry blonde smacked him upside the head with a roll of his pale turquoise eyes.

"You know what Mum said. No fighting this year Angus! You've ruined enough family gatherings as it is." He snapped, glancing over at Iain disapprovingly as if it were all the Scotsman's fault. As if the red head had done anything! Lars stared at the man, not with any of the hostility he felt, though that didn't matter seeing as soon he dropped his eyes.

"Ah see princess. Sorry ye missed me so much as to be asking where ah was. It's heart warming to know ye really do care, fucking piece of shit. Dinnae worry, next time ah'll be sure not to keep ye waiting so long, lass" Iain shot back, moving to the table. As a side thought, he grabbed Lars' hand with his own, more to be spiteful towards his brother than anything else, and sat down, never once breaking the glare he shot towards Angus. So what if Mum had said no fighting, his brother's arrogance and ignorance and just all around his brother, pissed him off.

Angus looked about ready to throw up when his older brother took Lars' hand, his face going from smirking to one of sheer horror. Of all the people in the world, he hated homosexuals. Hated them with every fiber of his being. "Feck that. Yeh can't fight me! Ye too delicate fairy boy." He taunted, getting to his feet as if to prove that Iain wouldn't fight him. His brother, the same strawberry blonde from before, tried to pull him down again, but Angus shook him off. "Enough William before ah fecking beat ye ass!" He snarled, smacking him upside the head.

Lars glanced over at his fuming Scotsman, expecting the man to get up and go beat the hell out of the bastard across from them, but when he got up, instead of doing what Lars expected, Iain sat himself in his lap and wrapped an arm around his waist, much to Lars' irritation. It wasn't that he minded Iain on him like this, it was the fact he was being used as a pawn in their shouting match that irritated him. He didn't protest however, instead he wrapped both arms around Iain's waist in a restraining way and rested his chin on the Scotsman's shoulder with a small sigh.

Iain suddenly went from being angry to being rather smug when Lars wrapped his arms around him. "Ye know, ah dinnae have to fight ye princess. Have ye met Lars yet?" He smirked, leaning back against his Dutchman's chest and watching as Angus looked away from him for a handful of seconds, his pale pace paling further though he quickly regained his composure, much to Iain's annoyance. "Try telling him he can't fight ye because he's gay."

"Boys enough... Can't we get along for one night..." A grey haired, tired looking woman said as she came around the corner with an entire cart of food, her eyes dull and sad looking. Slowly, as if movement pained her, she started setting the plates of food onto the table, the only one moving to help her being Iggy. Once all of the food was set on the table, along with a stack of chipped, empty plates, she sat in her chair with a heavy sigh and looked over at Iain, faint shock and surprise registering in her eyes, though she didn't comment on it. "Iain I'm glad you came... It's been a long time since you came home..." She greeted, not finding it in herself to actually smile. "Who's your... um... friend?" She asked, glancing at Lars almost warily. She wasn't sure she liked the possessive way he held her son to him at all.

"Iain is gay Mum." Angus stated, as if that wasn't obvious already by the way the two were sitting. He glanced over at the two out of the corner of his eye before looking away again, seeing Lars and his brother both still looking over at him. "Yeh should say neh fecking fags in the house Mum."

"How about ye make a rule that says nae homophobic bastards in the house?" Iain shot back with a growl. Had Lars' arms not been around his skinny little waist, he'd launch himself over the table to attack his obnoxious as fuck brother. "Guid to see ye too Mum. This is Lars. He's mah boyfriend, among other things." He explained, glancing over at his exhausted looking mum with a spark of anger at her presence. He hated her...He hated her so much for leaving him. She gave up on all of them... That would never be something he could forgive. At least she didn't appear to oppose his relationship though...

Lillian had expected as much, but it still didn't quite sit well with her for some reason. A weight landed on her already dead, mangled heart at her oldest son's anger towards her. She didn't have to see it in his eyes to know, she knew her son. Whether he realized it or not, she had watched as he had grown up, knew his emotions by the way he spoke and moved. The way he breathed and tensed. It didn't just have to be his eyes... It broke her heart that she had messed up so bad as to have lost her son's love and affection. What had he expected of her when her husband had died? She loved him, and when his support had been torn from under her feet, she didn't know how to cope. She needed that support, but no matter how many people she brought home, nothing she did could fix the hole in her heart, and Iain hated her for it. A spark of hope flared in her though. If Iain were to love someone like she had loved his da, maybe he'd forgive her, understand what she had felt... "Your boyfriend? Well lad that's... That's good." She attempted, looking over at her son with a weak little smile. "How long have you two been together?"

Iain grit his teeth, more irritated with the few kind words his mother was attempting to exchange with him than he was with Angus' taunts. She dared try to speak with him past their usual formalities whenever he saw her? With a shudder of a mix of pain and anger, he fixed his livid jade eyes on his mother, hardly aware of the arms tightening around him as Lars attempted to comfort him and get him to calm down. "We've been together for as long as ah haven't been here. Ye do the math Mum. Ah haven't been here for whit... two years now? Five?" He spat, voice just dripping in malice. Deep down inside, when his mum flinched he felt compelled to apologize, but he bit it back with another shudder. Seeking comfort, he leaned back against Lars' chest, needing some form of reassurance that not everything in his life was just shit.

"So long and you still haven't married him?" Lillian asked, knowing she shouldn't play Iain's game and dig at him, but not really able to help it after he was so angry towards her for something in the past. She knew he didn't like the idea of marriage and the rest of her sons knew it too, for the rather quite ginger to her left and Iggy on her right both took her hands and glared over at Iain, the ginger in dislike and actual anger, Arthur in exasperation. How it was Iain's fault for feeling betrayed, he didn't know.

Enraged and shuddering Iain shook his head, not even able to find something sassy to say back to his mum. "Ye know ah can't do that. Ye _know _ah can't fucking do that! Ah will nae become like ye Mum... I will nae do that! Ah love Lars and that is enough for the both of us! Ah dinnae need people to tell me ah need to be married to be happy! Ah think it is enough that ah can stay with him forever! Ah dinnae need to!" He thundered, knowing he was throwing a bit of a tantrum, but not able to really help himself. This is why he hated coming home. He _hated _home... His Mum... His brothers... He hated them... but it was mostly because they all made him hate himself. They all reminded him that he was such a screw up, just like the rest of them... He hated them because they forced him to remember how much he missed his da, while on days it was just him and Lars he could actually remember him without it hurting as much, but while he was at home it hurt... It hurt so bad... It made him angry. Made him aim to hurt them all... Of all of them he had been the closest to his da... and when he was ripped away from him he cried harder than he ever had before.

Suddenly he couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe or hear or see. His vision swam and he shook in Lars hold so badly it jarred the Dutchman's arms. Pain ripped him wide open, open like a disgusting, ugly wound. He tried so hard to regain himself, not wanting to break right there in front of his condescending family when all any of them ever did was judge him. He felt like he was drowning, fighting against a wall... But then Lars was discreetly working to pull him back into reality, pulling him closer and pressing a few gentle, concerned kisses to his neck, not caring in that moment what all the others saw or thought. Then there was Angus...

"Get out! That is disgusting! Ah doon't want te see yeh doing any of that! Ah doon't fucking need that disgusting mental image in mah head!" Angus snapped, picking up his buttered roll and chucking it at them, striking his quickly spiraling out of control brother in the face with it. "Get the fuck o-"

"You listen to me right the fuck now. Talk over me and I swear to God that I will kill you. Where the hell is your support? I don't care how much you hate each other, there is a point where you stop digging. There is a God damn point where you give it up! Can you see what you all are doing to him? Can you see this!?" Lars boomed, cutting Angus off and making all of them flinch away. Had he not been too busy trying to calm Iain down, he'd have gotten to his feet and punched Angus square in the face. He hadn't felt so angry before in his life than he had with all of them just trying to tear his Iain down. "Talk again. I fucking dare you. Tell me I'm disgusting again. Try to make _me _feel like a disgrace. Just fucking try me."

"Angus don't.. He has a po-" Lillian started to say though Angus talked right over her, his eyes flashing with fear and anger.

"What're yeh going to do about it? Yeh. Fecking. F-"

"Really now that is enough! What does it matter if they are gay? I don't remember a time you ever won a fight with Iain, Angus!" Arthur defended again, glaring over at his brother.

The sounds of bickering and fighting and anger grew and grew until it was impossible to decipher who was saying what. It didn't help Iain's quickly growing panic when all he heard and felt was hate and anger. His level of control weakened and weakened and weakened until he just snapped, unable to take it anymore.

"Shut the fuck up all of ye" He roared, slamming his balled, white knuckled fists onto the table and standing up furiously, his jade eyes flashing with pain and rage. He couldn't hardly take it anymore. The pain and anger and just everything was too much. "None of ye have a God damn right to talk to me or about me like ah'm some fucking disgrace! None of ye! William ye are almost 27 years old and ye still mooch of of Mum at home! Liam. Angus. Ye both are still caught in the fucking ways of a God damn rebellious piece of shit teenager with all yer fucking drugs and partying and arrests. Ah guarantee at least one of ye are on fucking probation right now. Tell me. When the fuck did ye get out of jail for yer meth lab Angus? Ye were what... there for a year and managed to weasel yer way out of a longer sentence because yer girlfriend new the judge? Even you Mum. Ah've had fucking words for ye for years, turning into a God damn whore with all yer boyfriends, not even having five words to say to any of us after Da died... Not even noticing how... how hard we fucking struggled... how shitty some of the men ye brought home would be towards us..." He paused his rant, swearing to himself that his voice would crack if he went on in that moment. When he felt Lars get up beside him and wrap an arm around his waist from behind he recovered a little and moved one of his hands until it was on top of Lars'. "The only one of any of us that turned out alright is fucking Iggy! He's the only one who is actually fucking successful, who actually does something meaningful with his God damn life! The little shit is going to teach fucking high school chemistry. He has a bastard of a husband who's happy all the time with a good family. They have two God damn kids for crying out the fuck loud! And ah'm sorry Iggy because ah know ye weren't ready for them to know, but God damn kid... Ye actually rose above all of us. Ah know we dinnae get along but shit lad... Ah'm so fucking proud to be yer brother because ye didn't let the cesspool of absolute shit that was yer childhood and family pull you down like it did the rest of us."

"Are yeh tryin' te tell me ah have _two _gay as feck br-" But Angus never got the chance to finish because as soon as he had started talking Iain moved around the other side of the table and punched him square in the face with a livid snarl, satisfied when his brother's nose crunched under his knuckles.

"Ye get the fuck off his ass. Who gives a shit, honestly? Ah'm gay. Ah fuck another man and ah like it, that's for damn sure. Me loving Lars doesn't change the fact that ah will kick yer fucking ass if ah hear another word come out of yer mouth about being fucking homophobic." He rounded on his mum when poor Lillian, eyes pricked with tears, made a nose to interrupt her oldest son's ranting. "Dinnae even say it. Dinnae _even _fucking start with me. Ah love Lars and that is enough for both of us. Ah will not turn out to be like ye, so dependant on someone ye can't even take care of yerself, let alone five helpless boys who fucking needed you. We dinnae lose one parent, we lost two. Ah am not going to get married when ah know I will nae ever go anywhere without mah Lars. We dinnae need to be married to be happy or to love each other. If ye all are quite finished trying to piss me right the fuck off, ah'm going now. Great fucking family gathering." He growled, turning around and kicking the chair out of his way with enough force to send it flying back against the wall with a loud crash. He left silence behind him, not even Angus attempting to talk to or taunt him. Without turning back he opened the door, slamming it against the wall and stormed out of it, slamming it back shut hard enough to send a picture of their family when he was little and his da was still alive to the floor, the glass shattering cruelly.

Lars got to his feet and paused, tempted to beat the hell out of Angus who was smirking at his older brother's outburst, though he knew deep down he needed to go after his Scotsman. Growling something out in Dutch, he ran after Iain, not even bothering to shut the door behind him. "Iain. Iain wait!" He called, as he ran after the red head as he stalked away, a shuddering mess. At first he didn't think the man was going to stop, but the after a minute of deliberation he hesitated just long enough to give Lars the chance to catch up to him. The Dutchman pulled Iain into his arms and hugged him fiercely, wanting to understand why he had panicked like he had, but also not sure he wanted to bring it up if it would only make things worse. All he knew was that one minute Iain was throwing comments back and the next he was a mess.

Iain barely responded to the hug at first, but after a minute he shuddered violently and pressed against Lars' chest, wanting to forget the evening, the pain, the hatred. He shouldn't have come. There hadn't been reason to force himself through that, and yet, as they began walking again in silence towards the run down hotel they were staying in up the street, he thought maybe there had been. For years he had wanted to tell Lars about his da, about how he hated his mum for abandoning him to a childhood of desperately trying to keep himself and his brothers presentable, fed, bathed... Happy. He had wanted to explain he hadn't always been so quick to anger or take any sort of bad situation as being his fault somehow. Every time he tried though, he'd freeze up and shut down, brain shying away from the idea of remembering the bad... Maybe that was why he had come, to try to force himself in a way to tell Lars about his childhood.

To his surprise, the next time he was concentrating on the things around him, he was being lead into their hotel room by a terribly concerned Lars How had he missed the entire walk there? It didn't particularly matter though, he was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to be able to curl up under the covers of the bed and sleep. Of course... He needed to try to talk first. With a sigh he stripped down to his boxers and laid down on the bed with a groan, shivers only just barely subsiding. He glanced over at Lars and pat the space beside him. If he was going to do this, he better just get it over with now... "When... When ah was a lad... ah think ah was eleven or tweleve... mah Da died... It was such a sudden thing ye know? One week him and ah were out hiking and adventuring with Iggy, the next he... he was sick in the hospital. He was there... for a week or so and they all said he was getting better.. They all said he'd get to come home in a few days... but the night before he was discharged, someone made a mistake... Gave him the wrong antibiotics... His immune system was so weak that it..." He closed his eyes and focused on breathing through his nose, feeling another wave of pain tear through his chest.

He was quiet for so long that Lars shifted over to him and enveloped him in a hug, patiently waiting to hear the rest of what his Scotsman had to say. Trying to coax Iain back into talking, he pressed soft, feather light kisses against the man's neck and jaw line, trying to let him know that it was alright.

"His immune system was so weak and with the missed dose of actual antibiotics... he was found dead early in the morning..." Iain managed to choke out in a whisper, feeling tears prick in his eyes though he refused to let them fall, even if he was only in the presence of his Dutchman. "Mah... Mah necklace that ah wear... was his. Mum gave it to me thinking it might help me cope... But she was torn up with his death... She was so... dependant on him. She needed him to live and... Without that she didn't know how to deal... Ah dinnae know how many boys she brought home after that, all there just to try to fill the void in her heart... But doing all that, she left us alone. We were just boys... Ah was twelve... Liam and Angus had to be eleven. William nine. Iggy... Iggy was only seven. Seven and he was having to be looked after by... me." A shudder rolled through Iain and he buried his face against Lars' chest, just wanting to forget... forget how hard it all had been. "Ah... Ah was getting them up in the morning and feeding them. Getting them to school... Getting them home from school, helping with homework, getting them fed and back in bed. That's how mah day went and if ah wasn't doing that it was because ah was at school... Ah hated mah Mum for leaving me..." He laughed bitterly and shook his head, trying to push closer to Lars when there wasn't any space for him to do so.

"You are allowed to hate her sweet heart..." Lars reasoned quietly, thinking to how much he despised his own parents. "Nothing ever said you had to like your mom."

"Nae... But I have nae the right to..." Iain sighed, closing his eyes tightly. "Ah dinnae have a single right to hate her for leaving... because ah did the same thing to all of them... Ah couldn't handle taking care of mah family anymore Lars... ah couldn't. One day something inside of me... It just snapped and ah packed up what ah could... and left without a trace. Ah was the closest thing to a parent they had... Any of them... And ah abandoned them because I couldn't handle it... It got bad Lars... It got so bad after that. Ah've done a lot of things that ah'm not real proud of... And ah know ah'm not the only one. Ah know Angus and Liam cooked drugs after a while, William started ditching school, turning his pain on himself. That was a scary call... Mum telling me William was in the hospital because he tried to kill himself... That wasn't the worst part... Ah never have gotten along with Angus or Liam. Dinnae usually get along with William... But when ah went to go take care of them again... Iggy was gone." He rasped, as if the story was happening to him now and drew out all of his energy. He had been able to handle seeing William in a stark white gown on a sterile hospital bed, had been able to take Angus' fury at his presence after not having heard from him for so long... He could still hear his brother screaming at him to leave, just like Mum... It was when they told him Iggy had run that he actually broke though.

"Mah little brother was mah world next to mah Da when ah was little... He was mah partner in crime. It was me and him... He was mah best friend and ah liked it that way... Ah knew ah was going to hurt him when I left... But ah dinnae expect him to run from home like ah did... Ah spent a year and a half hunting for him, found him holed up in Spain, skin and bones to the point mah whole fist could nearly fit inside the depressions his hip bones left. Ah swear the lad weighed less then than he had when he was that seven year old boy sharing mah bed at night because ah couldn't sleep unless he was there... Ah'd just end up crying. He was bloodied from a fight when ah found him, though how he fought in such a state ah'll never know. His blonde hair was cut all strange, died poorly multiple colors... His ears were pierced up... Ah'd met druggies all through mah life because of where we lived... ah had even been one mahself for a while before ah just couldn't afford it... Mah Iggy was so far gone... ah hardly thought he'd recognize me... but as soon as he saw mah face he burst into tears and stumbled into mah arms, blubbering about how he was sorry for being a mess... That he needed help and dinnae know whit to do... For a while it was ok then... Ah had at least half of mah old life back, getting clean with mah brother... We stayed together for a while and it was good... he went back to school... and ah left again..."

"If everything was alright... Why did you leave?" Lars asked, not quite understanding. Sure they probably bickered, but it didn't sound so bad, the way Iain described it. "Living with your brother... You sound like you were happy."

Iain nodded, his eyes dull. "Aye. Ah had been happy. Ah was happy where ah was... but ah was bringing Arthur down. Ah couldn't just stay and mooch of mah little brother... Even after all ah had helped him do... So ah packed up again and left, this time explaining why, where ah was going if he ever needed mah help... And ah went to the Netherlands... far away... and met ye a few months later." He finished, eyes closed for the entire last part of the story. "Ah'm sorry ah made ye go meet mah family... in a way... ah brought ye to force mahself to tell ye mah story... Ah have been wanting to for a while... but the words would never come out." He whispered, pressing his face against Lars' chest again. He felt better, talking it out like that. He felt calmer, exhausted... Ready to sleep... But Lars had a question, he could feel it. "Ye can ask whit's on yer mind darlin' but ye better say it quick... that story took all ah had out of me..."

"Sleep sweet heart. I was just going to ask why you felt the need to tell me. I'm glad you did, but I don't understand why you felt like you had to. We can talk more about it in the morning." Lars assured, pressing a fierce good night kiss to Iain's lips before pulling the blanket up over both of them. If Iain was tired, and he really couldn't blame him for that one, then the man could sleep.

Iain appreciated Lars' thoughtfulness, and he didn't reopen his eyes, but he did smile faintly and shrug just a little. "Because ah love ye and thought it was something ye should know... That's all. Now guid night Lars... and thanks for listening..." He whispered, snuggling against Lars in a more comfortable way and yawning quietly, sleep tugging at him.

"Alright alright. Goedenacht... Love you too sweet heart... You should know by now though that I will always listen." Lars promised, though Iain had already drifted off to sleep, not hearing his Dutchman's last words of the night. He chucked quietly and kissed Iain's forehead before he settled down himself and closed his eyes, in a way, glad that Iain trusted him enough to tell him even though it clearly upset him. At least maybe he could make his Scotsman's life better.

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**Goedenacht: Good night (Dutch)**

**As always, I'd love to hear what you all think! So review please? :) **


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